Bitter Belongs to Venus

Bitter is where the medicine is~ 

But also the poison. 

A dozen magic constituents 

Drawing out the salvia in the corners of your mouth, 

And churning the stomach into foam;

The acid before the expulsion.

Bitter as a means of self-preservation.

Bitter acting as Venus’ teeth. Like the curving fangs of a viper. 

/The intimacy of a venomous bite/

Bitter as a means of relating - communicating. 

The bright colors on a bitter bug which act as a warning. 

Bitter as a slumbering, retroactive defense. 

Bitter is what Anger feels when it’s inside out. 

When it doesn’t want to sever, only hold at arms’ length. 

Venus in blood red lipstick tending to the business of Mars.

Bitter as a means of binding. A complaint, a grievance; it’s all connection.

/You may consume me, but I will poison you/

Mars wants the clear lines of separation ~ Venus is a crowded grave.

Mars as a razor, Venus as a sting.

Bitter as the slipping grip on selfness in the midst of disappointment. 

Relational rebellion. 

An imploding objection.

A choking refusal to accept. 

An imperfect defiance. 

An ache towards justice. 

It’s no accident that bitter herbs trigger an angry liver to

Release its bile and stir digestion ~

The poison is in the dose/ The remedy is in the taste. 

Listen to it. 

Silenced and stagnant, bitterness becomes vengeful and destructive.

But a little bit of Bitter, respected and heard, keeps things moving. 

Every Planet has a way of asserting and guarding its selfness, just as every Plant, every Creature, has some system of defense and self-preservation. Lately I’ve really been exploring bitterness as a sort of “gatekeeper secondary defense”, a Venusian response similar to how Mars works with anger. As a person who has a natal opposition between Mars and Venus {they sit across my chart from one another with the annoying tension of sworn enemies who are perpetually on the cusp of becoming lovers}, I’m forever exploring this dynamic. Venus is always opening the door, anticipating collaboration and Mars is always closing the door, expecting invasion. Mars uses the heat of anger - a feverish kind of defense alarm which signals {accurately or not} a threat against ME. It is not innately hard for Mars to do this, like a guard dog who barks as enthusiastically at the mailman as it does an actual assassin, it feels satisfied with having protected its domain. It’s up to us to sit with this toothy old hound and respond appropriately.

There are many, many reasons why Mars might not have such an easy time with its task; trauma, a difficult natal placement, upbringing, cultural constraints, various other aspects in the birth chart, etc. and sometimes, its natural spectrum partner Venus steps in. In some charts, Venus may be seated in the role of Protector and uses the tools at its disposal for our defense. As the intentional orchestrator of relationship, Venus first looks for ways to engage and exchange and so it adopts interactive defense. It decks itself in gorgeous colors, glistening with poison. It douses itself in bitterness like a perfume, coiling around its soft underbelly, hiding fangs full of venom. We are attracted and repulsed at the same time.

In order for bitterness to be tasted, it must be consumed. It is something intimate. While Martian anger tends to be outward-facing, bitterness is more likely to sink inward and take root in the belly. Martian defense focuses on the Self, Venus handcuffs itself to the transgressor -whatever or whoever that might be.

Bitterness, like anger, is an incredibly important response we need to pay attention to and learn to handle even with clumsy hands. Anger tells us where we see a threat to our Selfness, bitterness responds to injustice or violation of a social ‘contract’. Bitterness serves as a warning, a deterrent, a stimulant and an emetic, but when it gathers and stagnates it forms a poisonous pearl around the wound. It is hard to sit with its taste, resentment stings in a way that anger just can’t manage, but it’s giving us so much good information!! Information we must Act On. Put a little Mars on it! Let it work its way out. Is anger required? Are you holding bitterness in an attempt to save yourself from responding and moving forward?

In herbalism, we work with herbs with bitter alkaloids in order to stimulate and improve digestion. Many of these plants have a special relationship with the Liver {some might note that in TCM, the Liver holds our anger!!} and support proper Liver function. Indigestion, hormonal imbalances, constipation, and even acid reflux can be indications that our angry organ isn’t able to do its job well. Sometimes the simplest and least invasive way to remedy the situation is actually to add a little bitterness to get things cleared out and moving. We also now know that there are receptors on the heart which receive the bitterness of herbs with an affinity for the cardiovascular system! Bitterness stimulates a response from the heart, toning it and improving its function.

The poison is in the dose. Go ahead and be a little bitter - a little bitter - but only as much as triggers your response. I wish I could say exactly what that was for folks, but when clients and I have these discussions, they usually know. Sometimes they need to get angry and push back, or reestablish a boundary in a relationship, or stop saying Yes when they mean No. Sometimes they need to unlock the damn handcuffs, or to release a situation, or stop violating their own integrity. Sometimes they need to pick a fight with god on a mountain and renew their faith in life.

Venus’ endgame is maintaining our vital and well relationship with Life itself as well as an equitable and harmonious relationship with What Is Not Us. Ultimately, bitterness serves as a brightly colored warning that the scales are off and our well-being is compromised. Poison and medicine, bitterness must stimulate a response and not stagnate. Like all symptoms, it should be viewed as loving {if uncomfortable} communication from Being which very much wants to exist in wellness.